Relationships are a lot like ice cream flavors. Some relationships are pretty plain like vanilla, some are rough like rocky road and some are pretty exotic like mango kiwi lime. So many couples come into me for marriage counseling because they're tired of having the same old ice cream.
Their relationship has been too vanilla or too rocky road for too long and they're just tired of it. They want change. They want to try a new flavor.
Healthy Relationships Change With Each Other
A secret to strong relationships is that you can't have the same old flavor of relationship with your partner from year to year and still be happy. Times change and people need to change with them. Think about it, do you want your 50 year old partner to still act like they're 20? Of course your partner is going to change. And so should you. It's how you and your spouse grow together.
Not only should people change but relationships should change, too. Relationships can't always be vanilla all the time. If they're vanilla for too long couples will get bored. Couples need to have variety. They need to experience the rocky road, the mango kiwi lime and the vanilla.
And more importantly they need to be there for each other during these times so their partner can lean on them, learn to trust them, and share intimate experiences with each other.
Variety in Your Relationships Allows You To Get to Know Your Spouse in New Ways
Another advantage to having variety in your relationship is that it helps you to get to know your partner in new ways. Think about it, what new things are you learning about your partner if you're always going to the same restaurant, ordering the same meal and going home at the same time every night?
When you go new places and do new things with your partner, you get to know them in new ways you never knew. You might see them get nervous the first time they try sushi or you might see them try to act tough when they try a curry that's too hot for them. By having new experiences with each other, you're not only adding variety but you're getting to know each other more.
Variety can also create passion. Seeing your partner in new situations and sharing new experiences with you creates an intimacy and romance that's electrifying – just like when you were dating and getting to know them. By adding variety in your relationship you experience new things together and get to know new things about them.
The More Variety, The Better
Remember, your relationship should change over the years. Being able to look back and see all the ways that you and your partner have grown together is fulfilling. Try new things with your spouse like the way you'd try new Ice Cream:
Don't worry which flavor you try. It's just important that you try them. Just like ice cream, there are lots of different flavors and you'll usually find that you like it. It's the experience of trying new things with your spouse that's important. And the more you try the Better.